Well, again, despite my best intentions, it has once again been a while since I have posted.
Life has been challenging lately. I won’t go into the details, but there are some big things to be overcome, lots to work through and move on from. I like to think of the beautiful things in my life, which are my gorgeous boys, and my wonderful business Some may think this is strange that my business is ‘wonderful’ to me, but it is my outlet, my way of keeping Koby alive to me, of remembering and honouring him. And that to me is wonderful.
Lots of other things have been going on in my life, which I have found difficult to deal with. Having an outlet which makes me feel good, is a godsend. It keeps me going.
Today however, it wasn’t enough and for the first time in ages I got to visit Koby at the cemetary. I visit with him daily in my mind, and a visit, with just me, to the cemetary is often physically difficult due to the other little people in my life. At first there were other people out there, I always prefer it to be just me! I like to lie on the ground in the sunshine by his gravestone and look at the sky and talk to him. For some reason if there are people there before me, I feel a bit self conscious doing this. However if people arrive after me, it doesn’t bother me so much. Strange I know, but there you go.
So here I am, lying in the cemetary. Its a beautiful spring day and the trees beside where Koby is are in full blossom. Just beautiful. Sometimes Koby has advice, sometimes he just listens. It is good to be listened to. Today he listened. I could have slept out there.
As I lay looking up into the tree, I realised that it wasn’t just a beautiful tree, it was a hive of activity. There was so much going on in that tree. It was alive with insects and birds. I specifically noticed there were hundreds of bees. Bees, just doing what they do. They were so busy, going from flower to flower. Bumble bees too. When the traffic noise slowed, I could hear the buzz of the multitude of bees. Just doing what they do.
It made me think, why are humans so different. Why does what we do have to be so complicated, and hurt people. Why cant we work together, focus on a common goal? What happened to kindness and courtesy? What happened to treating others as you would like to be treated? Why can’t people be grateful for what they have, instead of thinking of all they don’t have. Yes it is great to have goals and things you strive for, but don’t forget all the great things you already have. I don’t understand so many people.
Of course I miss Koby, and wish things were different for my Mum, but I love my babies, and I’m so grateful that I have them (though one would hate me calling him my baby!), I love my business and I’m grateful I have a house and food, security and that I live in a small town that is generally a bit sheltered to the crazyness of cities. (Please note I said generally, as I know bad and crazy stuff happens everywhere). I’m so grateful for the opportunites I’ve had so far in life, for the people I’ve met, and the places I’ve travelled to and lived in. Everything I’ve done has led me here, with my babies, my family, my home, my business – lying here watching the bees just doing what they do in the beautiful tree filled with blossoms.
My conclusion … people should be more like bee’s. Look after each other, do what they do, work as a team, and look after the planet. Be grateful that there are blossom trees, and bees. Be grateful for beauty.
KJdesigns 